I should first apologise for the quality of my picture - it's the only one I could find, and as well as being a bit out of date it had to be pixellated for "security" reasons. If you squint you should get a better idea of what I look like.

I first got the idea for Bob The Fish while I was being sick, after eating a whole box of King Size Mars Bars that my grandmother had sent me. As I held my head over the toilet pan, waiting for the next surge of semi-digested goo, something caught my eye. I still can't remember exactly what it was, it was pattern of sick or something, and it vanished in an instant. But, miraculously, at that exact moment, the whole idea of Bob The Fish and his underwater world came to me. I still believe to this day it was a gift from God.

I wrote the first Bob The Fish story that same day, The Adventure of the Queen's Head, and showed it to a few of my friends afterwards. They think I'm crazy on a good day, but when they finally relented and read the story, they thought I was even crazier! One of them even tried to kill me using a hairpin he stole from one of the nurses. Those guys!

The toilet I threw up into on that fateful day was a Baxter's Safeflush 4000, and when I sent them the first story as a kind of thank-you, they kindly agreed to sponsor my website. So all thanks to Baxter's Patented Portable Toilets.

You can e-mail me by clicking here, but whatever you type will be screened before it gets to me. So please try to keep it clean, and remember that offers of helping me to escape will probably not get to me.

I love writing, and I'm lucky enough to have plenty of spare time to do so. Keep coming back for updates, I'm always writing new Bob The Fish stories! Tell your friends too, then they can be my friends too.